How to cultivate gravitas

Please find below an article by my friend and colleague Sarah McCloughry - very powerful stuff:

Gravitas
A dictionary definition of gravitas is “a serious and solemn attitude or way of behaving”. To the ancient Roman republic, it meant dignity, seriousness and duty, one of the several virtues expected of men to possess.. However, currently in my view, it’s not about taking oneself seriously - it’s about taking what one does seriously.

Why bother to cultivate it?
In order to convince someone in business to buy from you and especially promote your interests, the decision maker is likely to need to know, like and trust you. Cultivating gravitas is a compelling business strategy for establishing credibility, respect and trust. Ultimately this leads to increased profile for you and business for your company.

1. Appearance
Take care to look the part. An interesting study revealed that if a vet dressed ‘down’, they were rated as low in effectiveness. However if they dressed in a white coat and wore a stethoscope (however superfluous), they were rated as highly effective! Go to expensive hairdressers to get the best advice on how your hair should look. Go to an image consultant to match your colouring, your style and the context of the clothes you are wearing. Go to the gym. Buy expensive shoes and keep them polished – people DO notice. Make sure your nails are carefully manicured. Make your appearance looks better than expectation to make an impact.

2. Occupy your space
Imagine the 18” the British traditionally claim around the body. To increase a sense of ‘presence’ when you walk into a room, increase the space around you to include the room and enfold everyone in it. To create energy within you, imagine that you have a secret that no one else knows and go into the room thinking this. On entering the room, pause in the doorway and look round. Then move forward towards a group where the body language suggests they are open to others joining them. Even when you think that people are turned away from you, their peripheral vision will catch your entrance and make assumptions about what to make of you.


3. Value your words
Be sparing and measured in your speech and make every word count. People with presence say relatively little. Though everything they say
counts – valuing quality over quantity. You have no need to raise your voice – in fact, you will have people leaning forward to catch your words if you speak firmly yet quietly. And according to research, for men, the female voice is more complex and more difficult to hear and understand
and women’s higher pitch can be interpreted as subordinate. So for women to gain authority in the workplace, they need to deepen their vocal delivery and make it more deliberate.

Hold the silence
Before you speak, hold the pause to ensure others’ attention. When you have finished speaking, stop talking. You communicate very powerfully by your silence.

4. Set the mood
Before you enter the room, focus on and imagine how you want everyone in the room to feel. People are only too willing to be guided by you so set the tone and mood. You will gain the influence to set the agenda for the rest of the meeting.

5. Act ‘powerfully’
Imagine a triangle. Put in a horizontal line near the apex denoting the top 7%. That is the amount of conscious awareness people have of what you say. However, the 93% below the line is the unconscious mind absorbing your body language and vocal delivery that will determine how they really see you. Make sure your unconscious signals are powerful: your movements and delivery deliberate and you use the major key in your voice to convey certainty.

6. Feeling disempowered?
In a situation where you are likely to feel unsure or lacking in knowledge –and especially if you are talking with someone who is an expert, change the role that you are playing. Ask searching and challenging questions to keep them thinking or give incisive summaries of what you have heard to make it clear you are still powerfully attentive. If you get interrupted when speaking, look irritated and immediately cut in to repeat what you were saying. And ladies, cut down on smiling. It can be seen as placatory and
submissive. Make your smile the reward.

7. Give your undivided attention
Give eye contact and quieten the internal chatter. Make space to absorb what’s being said and especially HOW it’s communicated. Become consciously aware of the subtext of body language and vocal tone. It will give you a lot of information as to how you want to respond. Then make your response deliberate and targeted.

8. Note taking
Expect to take notes - you are valuing what you hear and are taking the information to digest at a later date. However do not scribble furiously – others are likely to dismiss you as the minute-taker, particularly if you are a woman.

9. And finally - don’t expect to be liked!
Having gravitas will gain respect from those around you. Gaining respect is far more valuable in business than being loved. It gives you instant credibility so you get taken seriously. Businesspeople – and staff members need to know, like and trust you to follow your lead. Having established respect and credibility, building rapport later will encourage them to want to like you.

Email me sarah@anrah.co.uk or phone 07939 261743 if you want to follow up on any thoughts you have about increasing your gravitas. I’d be happy to discuss things with you.

Sarah McCloughry
Anrah Training and Development
CSSD (1974), London Univ, member of the British Voice Association
www.anrah.co.uk
01865 243655
07939 261743

“Sarah has opened my mind to new ways of communicating which dramatically improved impact, first and lasting impressions. I have used many of her techniques in real situations which have resulted in positive and profitable outcomes.” Ben Dair, Product Manager, Harris Corporation

A funny going into Good Friday

I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.

Have a great Easter!

Sam Walton on the recession

I picked up this quote recently - and it hit a nerve:

"I was asked what I thought about the recession. I said I had thought about it and decided not to participate."

Sam Walton, Founder of Wal*Mart

I choose not to participate.

Out of date laws

I picked this up from a newletter from Cousins Business Law and I thought it would amuse...

• It is an act of treason to place a postage stamp bearing the British monarch upside down.
• In Lancashire, it is an offence for a person to incite a dog to bark after being asked to stop by a police officer on the seashore.
• Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London.
• In England, all men over the age of 14 must carry out two hours of longbow practice every day.
• In Chester, Welshmen are banned from entering the city before sunrise and from staying after sunset.
• In York, it is perfectly legal to kill a Scotsman within the ancient city walls, but only if he is carrying a bow and arrow.
• In the UK, it is lawful for a man to urinate in public as long as he aims for the rear wheel of his vehicle and keeps his right hand on it (the vehicle that is).

mmm.

Inspirational quote

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether I am afraid."

-- Audre Lorde

Acres of Diamonds, by Russell Conway

Russell Conway was so successful with this speech that he was asked to give it over 5,000 times.

An old African farmer heard about people who had gone off into Africa, discovered diamond mines and become fantastically wealthy.

So he sold up his farm and decided to go off into Africa and crown his life by discovering a diamond mine and becoming fabulously wealthy. He wandered the vast African continent for 12 or 13 years and, finally - tired, broken, broke, alone, sick and exhausted - he threw himself into the ocean and drowned.

Meanwhile back on his farm, the new owner was out watering a mule in a stream that cut across the farm. He found a rock that threw off light in a remarkable fashion. It was later found to be a diamond of inestimable value!

The person who identified the diamond asked the new farmer to take him out to where he had been watering the mule when he found the rock. They went back out and found another diamond...and then another...and then another! In fact, they found that the old farm was literally covered with acres of diamonds.

The old farmer had gone off seeking diamonds somewhere else, without ever looking under his own feet; he did not realise that diamonds didn’t look like diamonds in their rough form. They simply looked like rough rocks, burned fragments and charred remnants of coal.

To bring out it’s very best value, a diamond must be cut, shaped, polished and set.

Our major opportunities in life also come to us like rough diamonds. They say the reason why people miss their major opportunities in life is, in the words of Thomas Edison:

“Most opportunities are disguised in work clothes and look like work.”

Our major opportunities to achieve everything that we want lie right under our own feet. Not only in our own talents and abilities, but also in our own towns, our own industries, our own interests, our own education, our own background and our own connections. Everything that we want, everything that we hoped for is probably very close at hand -but it does not look like a diamond in its rough form. It will require work, planning, preparation and effort. It will require getting down there with our own hands and creating, polishing, buffing and setting.

Don’t think that you have to travel across the country, change industries or go back to school. In setting goals, look right where you are and start where you are right now. Most millionaires become millionaires from the very town in which they grew up. They recognised the opportunities from what was all around them and right under their own feet.

The Man Who Sold Hot Dogs

There was a man who lived by the side of the road and sold hot dogs. He was hard of hearing so he didn’t listen to the radio. He had trouble with his eyes so he read no newspapers and didn’t own a tv. But he sold good hot dogs. He put up signs on the highway telling people how good the hot dogs were. He stood by the side of the road and cried, “Buy a hot dog mister?” And people bought.

He increased his meat and bun orders. He bought a bigger stove to take care of his trade. He finally got his son home from college to help him out.

But then something happened. One day his son said, “Father, I’ve been listening to the radio. I’ve been reading the newspapers and watching the news on tv. There’s a big recession. The European situation is terrible. The domestic situation is worse.”

Whereupon the father thought, “Well, my son’s been to college, he reads the newspapers and he listens to the radio and watches tv. He ought to know.”

So the father cut down on his bun orders, took down his advertising signs and no longer bothered to stand out on the highway selling hot dogs. And his hot dog sales fell overnight.

“You’re right, son,” the old man said to his boy. “We’re certainly in the middle of a great recession."

'Nuff said.